wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
