Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
