You're my little dorito
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
