weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
