did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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