...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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