I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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