real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize