If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im holly from the hills drunk
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize