Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's Friday. Sex?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
