Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize