i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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