Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
