ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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