I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
