Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
