you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
