Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
