there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize