i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
