Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
