my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
