You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
