I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I love you.
Bad choice
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