they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
