Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
barbara walters just said penis...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
