I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
