what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
