It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize