we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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