i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
