video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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