ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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