dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
