Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
