Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
