You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
