So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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