does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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