i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
