i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Randomize
