Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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