8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
