Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize