Im at strip club and am horny
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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