oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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