fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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