i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
