Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Your penis caused this!
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