I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
