Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
