Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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