soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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