We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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