What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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