This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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