You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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