so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
