did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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