Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
